That little blob of messy, cells is number 13 of 15 fertilised eggs that Repromed have had in the incubator since Friday morning.  This little chap(ess) was chosen because he/she is made up of so many cells that you can’t count them anymore.  They’re all merging together, just as they should be.  There are already three more of these little, tiny things frozen for the future .  This little guy/gal was picked from those four because, apparently, there is already a tiny hole in him/her, which is, so we’re told, good and a sign that he/she is already ready to start the next phase.

This, tiny, weeny little thing was introduced to us on an iPad, in the hand of a smiling embryologist.  It was then shown to us “live” under the microscope before being placed on the thin end of a very thin, device and dropped inside me.  The Dr gave me an ultrasound wand to hold over myself, pointed at the embryo’s new home, so that we could watch the entire thing.  We got to see the end of the bendy straw sneak in there and drop it in place.  We also got to see it, sat there, afterwards.  Strangely, it kind of glowed in there.  I’m not sure why, but there was a definite light patch where it was sitting against me.

They write the number they've taken on your hand so you can see when you wake up.

It was a bit touch and go as to whether we’d be allowed to transfer the embryo today.  The doctor was aiming to retrieve 10 eggs on Friday; he got 29.  That’s a sign that my ovaries were very stimulated.  I was a bit shocked when I saw that inky number on the palm of my hand, I knew that there were 27 follicles on the Monday of that week but I wasn’t expecting there to be that many reaching the point of producing and egg… instead I ended up with 2 more!

Having sorted through those eggs we were told that 19 were mature enough to be inseminated with.. we’ll call it man juice… (lol) Having injected 19, by Saturday lunchtime 15 of those had fertilised.  Then it was just a case of wait and see.  Today there are 3 in the freezer, one in me, one that has 14 cells, another with 11, another with 8 (all of which are being left over night to see if they get to the stage the one you see pictured above is at – if they do they’ll be put in the freezer too).  There’s one with only  a single cell, after 4 days… lazy …and cells like that will not be frozen and kept for the future.

We’ve been really lucky to collect so many eggs as it will reduce the chance of me having to go through the whole process for a while.  We can use up each one of the embryos that are frozen, should we need to, before I (or indeed Matt) need to hand over some more.

The reason that it was touch and go was because, as we were told by the doctor today, in the past if they have collected 29 eggs they just cancel the embryo transfer.  That’s because, in order to produce so many eggs at once (i’ve just given up over two years worth of eggs in one go) my ovaries have to become enormous.  As a result, I am really bloated and a bit sore.  At the weekend I was REALLY sore and walking at the pace of a snail.  I’m on hormone therapy now too and the side effects of that include bloating too! However, they changed my trigger injection to Lucrin (instead of Ovidril) and this seems to have made all the difference.  Lucrin’s hormone release is shorter, meaning that my body has had longer to recover and calm down. Under instruction from the doc i’ve also been drinking 2.5 ltrs of water everyday to flush out as much as I can. Of course, i’m still taking the more traditional oestrogen (Progynova) and progesterone (Cronin) but all the Follicle stimulating hormones have wandered off.

Because my bloods showed normal levels of hormones, i’m not dehydrated and my belly shrunk a little less than an inch in a day, the Dr let us go ahead.  There is still a risk that I will still end up with OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) but if I do begin to feel ill, this time it will be because the pregnancy hormones are kicking in… which also means … I’ll be pregnant!  As long as we’re vigilant we’ll be fine  I’m sure.

Every step of this process has been a risk.  The risk of OHSS has been there at every step of the way.  If the Dr was happy to offer us the opportunity then we decided were we happy to take it.  So now all we have to do is sit and wait.  The next hurdle for me is a pregnancy test.  If there’s no period (sorry boys) by the 8th of Feb I have to pop in for a blood test.  That’s how we confirm pregnancy here – something I know N8Girl would have appreciated when she found out she was pregnant

Keep praying, crossing fingers and sending us positive vibes.

Go number 13!

Strange facts…

• On Friday we were laughing when we realised we had chosen parking space 13 as we headed to the operating theatre.
• Yesterday my mum sent me a silly email asking how the little ones were.  We made a joke that number 13 needed burping…
• Embryo 13 was chosen.

Spooky!

Related articles

• The not at all unpleasant blossoming of new life. Woo. (n8girl.com)
• Go for Launch! (rockinmochin.com)
• Eggs Benedict? (rockinmochin.com)
• And a happy new year! (n8girl.com)
• On Babies… (rockinmochin.com)

What a lovely face I could pull at 22. Why'd I choose this one?!

Matt and I have been together for nearly 12 years and married for 3 and half. We’ve travelled the world, bought and sold houses, studied for a degree each, helped each other develop our career pathways and started new businesses together.  We’ve emigrated to the other side of the world so that we can experience life in another hemisphere.  We’ve achieved a lot together but there’s been one thing evading us – children.

One of my favourite students (I know I don’ t have favourites yadah yadah) told me, 3 years ago, that I’d better hurry up if I didn’t want to attend parents evening with a Zimmer frame – that actually made me laugh.  (Teenagers are amusing little creatures – they think 26 is middle age.) I’ve had adults I’ve worked with tell me how much they enjoy still playing tennis with their kids because they had them whilst they were younger – hint hint – and I’m bored with the assumption that people make when you meet them that because we’re in our 30s and married we must have young children.

It’s not that we don’t want them.   In fact, I remember one argument when we were 24 and unmarried where Matt suggested we have a baby before we were married – babies are something we’ve been discussing for a very long time.  We’ve always known that we wanted a family of our own and although our adventures have delayed us a little, we’ve actually been trying to create baby woowaa for nearly two years.  To some, that might not seem very long but every ‘big fat negative’ is actually pretty hard to take –  it gets harder to take with ever month.

About a year ago, we did some ‘investigations’ and were referred to a fertility clinic.  It turns out that, for us, there is actually a biological reason why we haven’t given conceived a baby Woowaa.   Our chance of conceiving naturally is pretty low.  We were told by a GP with sympathetic eyes that, if weren’t in any rush, we could just keep trying and see what happens, he told me to read the content on the Repromed site.  It was “NO” number 20 that helped us make our decision. 20 months might not be long to some, but for us it was long enough.

Yes, biscuits are a very important part of the injection process.

We’ve been in the expert care of Dr Angela McClean of Repromed, Adelaide for the last 12 months or so.  We’ve both been poked, prodded, scanned and tested.   It was through this process that we discovered that Matt has a unsually low white blood cell count which prompted a whole line of enquiry that was quite scary but thankfully fruitless.  We’re both proven fit, healthy and ready to be parents. We’ve made the decision to start IVF treatment.  In fact, the reason I’m writing this now, having stayed very quiet about it for all this time, is because I started the injections last night.

I’m writing about this now so that I can share the journey.  This blog has always been about sharing.  Its read by lots of people looking for information about how to emigrate from the UK to Australia.  Now, as our life moves towards a different kind of journey, maybe we can share some thoughts that will support others who are experiencing the same thing.  I wasn’t ready to share these private events before.  Maybe I am now.

Related Articles:

What Happens During IVF?

What’s it like in a fertility clinic?

This set starts on Christmas Eve.

I’ve been adding to it since lunchtime yesterday  Enjoy!

Thanks for all the lovely pressies  We’re having lots of fun with them all

Merry Christmas!

Hendrix’s opinion on fly nets…

I see now that one of our defence systems is being weakened by the Kitteh…

In the last few days, for the first time since we arrived (nearly 2 years ago now), I’ve felt a little pang of homesickness.  As it gets warmer and we begin to venture out into the wide world I miss the friends that I want to hang out with.  I have a couple of wonderful friends here who I can call on – I haven’t spent the last two years avoiding civilisation completely – but that doesn’t stop my brain planning things that me and X,Y and Z could do, only to realise that X.Y ans Z are not here.

At this time of year,  there are usually people about to arrive at our home. People to share our wonderful Adelaide shores with. That’s not happening, at all, this year and that feels a little strange. There are no big plans at all. Obviously, we caught up with everyone only a few months ago at various weddings and so flying back to the U.K.,or them flying out here is a little much to expect and I don’t expect it… it’s just strange not having a date pinned on when I’ll see people again. There’s always been an event to plan for. The lack of a date like target, makes it feel like the gap has widened somehow.. Not sure how… I guess it has to eventually, that’s life.

It’s just strange that it has taken so long for my brain to react this way! I’ll get over it! Perhaps that is in part due to the fact that all the strange, awkward and sometimes horrible events that have happened since we’ve arrived here.  The trials and tribulations of both nearly and actually losing family and friends, of stressful workplaces that have had to be left, of bit career decisions or medical situations etc. … they’re all calming down a bit.. Perhaps we’ve finally got some time to relax?  Hopefully, that will mean we can moved forward even further on our journey.

This new life is still growing and developing and with each decision made comes new discoveries about the place we now call home and the people in it.  Sometimes the differences between where I’ve come from and where I have arrived are so subtle that it takes a while for them to come out.. then you have to work out how to get your head around them.  The deeper you go, the more you learn – it’s still an adventure.

I’m “not  in Kansas anymore Toto”.

Oh yeah!  Happy Meowloween!

The hours I work change from time to time,  on this occasion I needed to be at work early so I could get prepared for a meeting I was having first thing.  So… I got up early and let the cats into the bedroom…. (mostly to shut up Hendrix who behaves like he’s dying and couldn’t cope  another minute longer without us… “MEOW!!!”) I hopped into the shower leaving Matt with the cats… (“Purrr”). About 2 minutes later I heard “No!  NO!  You don’t F*^&%ing DO THAT! THAT’s DISGUSTING!”.  This was quickly followed by  Matt running into the shower next to me. He stayed in there for 20 mins (no.. not very water wise

What had happened?  Well… Apparently, Stan did his usual trick of turning his back to you and shoving his bum in your face.

Over the years we’ve realised that the best way to get him to stop that is to gently tap the back of his legs; for what ever reason, as soon as you do, he sits down.   Matt had gently tapped his legs but, instead of his usual reaction, the next thing he heard was a light “thud” on the pillow next to him.  This was promptly followed by a cold, wet sensation on the side of his neck….. and a 20 minute shower.

Understandably that put Matt in a very, very grumpy place and I was quite glad to go to work!!

Three hours later we were chatting on Skype and I asked him to keep and eye on Stan.  Obviously, that was an unpleasant thing that had happened but it was also NOT normal and might signal something was wrong.  Matt, once he’d fully calmed  down and was letting Stan be in the same room as him,  checked him over and noticed that he had been overgrooming around his groin.  There was a large red patch that didn’t look good.  So, something wasn’t right.  He called the vets.

By 4pm Stan had managed to chew on that red patch until there was a massive hole where there had once been a lump… Made Matt a little queasy!

All better now!

The vet was very sad to see him in that state. He did suggest that the cold, wet liquid may have been caused by an abscess bursting rather than… well the alternative.  I’m not sure what’s more unpleasant though!

The good news is that both Matt and Stan have fully recovered from their experiences and are friends again.

A Very positive/drunk husband...or sarcastic? lol

Now that title will get some attention!

It might also serve to mislead people looking into the very dark topic of mean, nasty, hateful husbands.  Mine is usually quite jolly.  As the charming image to our right, taken at my sister’s recent wedding, demonstrates most people would find LOF to be fun and relaxed; a very warm and gentle soul…

So…  Why is it that he is now the ring leader of the “I hate page” on Facebook.  I believe it all started when my the lovely little sister of my bestie (N8girl), “liked” IKEA. Apparently that took him over the edge!

Apparently he was so filled with “hate” that he needed to create a page for it…

and merchandise!

Does anyone else enjoy the irony of having to “like” the hate page to raise its profile?

After spending time in Derby and Brum with the Woodwards we embarked on the massive mission of catching up with as many people as we possibly could… whilst continuing to munch through Matt’s food wish list.

The rolling English countryside!

Saturday morning we got up and drive over to Hereford. Hereford, is where I was born and where most of my family lives.   We drove straight to my Nan and Granddad’s house and caught up with them for an hour or two.  We walked in whilst they were in the middle of decorating their living room so Matt made himself useful by taking down the blinds! They both seemed really well which is relief as Nan has had quite a few health issues this year.  The only resident of the house hold who seemed a little subdued was mad dog “Whiskey” who amusingly seems to have put on so much weight he didn’t manage to greet us in the passageway as he usually does… he can’t fit through the pet door anymore.  He also seemed far less inclined to bounce about and spin on the spot.  Other than that I’d say everyone, including Jason the cat were all good!

Uncle Nigel was also there being chief wall paper person so it was great to see him too before we headed off to catch up with other relatives.

One significant thing I had to do was visit the grave of my late Nan and Granddad.   A week after we left England my Nan passed away and I didn’t have the chance to attend her funeral and say farewell.  So, rather than grabbing chips from the college chippy and having a cup of tea with her we had to head to the cemetery to say hello.  It was very strange and sad but it was good to take some flowers to cheer up her resting place.  In fact, we ended up picking up sandwiches and eating them on the park bench a few meters away from where she rests; I reckon she’d have liked that, us having lunch with her.

After visiting Nan’s grave we headed over to my cousin’s house.  She had a little baby girl whilst we were away and we’d never met her.  It was lovely to catch up with her and her brood.  They really are awesome kids, she should be very proud of them.  We arrived at a point where he oldest son had to apologise to her because he’d managed to hit her with his toy dinosaur… His response was that “big t-rex did it” and when she replied that big T-rex better apologise then he put on a monster voice and said “sorry mummy” .  Very cute!

It was also really cute to see the traditional Lloyd style sibling personalities in evidence.  Oldest one…  noisy, confident and independent.  Youngest one… shy, clinging to mum and quiet.  Tee hee!  Even Matt said I can see you there and Kelly there!   lol  It was really cool to catch up with them all.

Now.. this is BALTI!!! YOM!

On the same day we’d booked ourselves into our favourite Brummy curry house, the  Shylhet Spice Cuisine, in Kings Heath.  I can’t tell you how amazing it was to eat a proper curry with a proper Naan! Lol  I’ve really missed an actual Balti.  Our local curry house tries hard to make them but they’re just not the same as an authentic Brummy Curry!  YOM!

The curry gang! Thanks for coming you guys! :0)

What was even more lovely was that nearly 20 people came to eat with us.  Some of them driving from North Wales just to spend a couple of hours with us!  We are really lucky to have such fabulous friends.  There was a lot of love in that room !

We graciously gave ourselves Sunday off from our mad dash and, after a very important breakfast at Beckett’s Farm (sausages)  spent most of the day at Mum’s setting up their NAS drive (NERD ALERT!) Matt, of course, made sure that he had the opportunity to drink more English Ales in the evening; I was so tired of going out that I stayed in… Unfortunately, I didn’t know that Matt had taken a house key with him and so ended up staying up until the wee hours so I could let him in…. you might have seen the Facebook status! Lol

We bounced back into the swing of things on Monday, heading to my favourite place in the whole of the UK… Stratford upon Avon. I just had to go and see the new theatre and have a yummy cream tea by the river! I know it’s a clichéd British thing but I really do love a cup of tea and a scone with proper clotted cream!  YOM!

We were joined by friends of ours so we were given another opportunity to catch up with people we hadn’t seen for a while! All good

By Tuesday lunchtime we were on the train to London so that we could spend some time with my bestieN8 and her husband – I need to invent a little name for him    It’s always awesome to catch up with her and we’d planned in a little spa day to ensure that the gossip wasn’t interrupted by smelly boys.  That meant that we left Matt to his own devices.  He ended up catching up with a friend in the pub at lunchtime… and didn’t finish drinking until late that night…  I force-fed him about 2 liters of water that night… there was no way I wanted to travel back to Adelaide with a really hung over husband!  NO no NO! I think it worked too!

On the Plane home.. Matt didn't know what I was up to

And that was that.  A plane out of Singapore down to Adelaide and we arrived home Saturday morning! A whirl wind tour of Britishness and now it’s all back to normal…. Sunshine, 20 degrees, coffee at the beach….

Hannah Grace Ruthven! There! I’ve said it! No longer Miss Davis – You’re a Mrs now!!! EXCITING!

You looked absolutely stunning my lovely.  How relieved we all were that you  loved your dress (after months of typical daft, Davis style stressing) You really were soooo Beautiful.  Everyone was so proud of you, of both of you.

You’ve achieved so much together already and, in the 22 years (eik!) that i’ve had the pleasure of being your friend and confidant, we’ve shared a lot of “growing up” time and quite a lot of successes too

Did you know readers that, for example,  she was co-host of her own radio show (SHAK FM), that she’s starred in her own productions of several hit musicals, as well as being a joint front woman for an awesome pop band?  It had a repertoire of two songs – “Manic Monday” by the Bangles and “Together Forever” by Rick Astley – Awesome dance moves included! Thank god X-factor wasn’t around in the early 90s!

Naturally, singing songs with lyrics like “Together forever and never to part” brought about plenty of early conversations about who that “dream of a man” might be. But… it wasn’t until 4/5 years a go that we had actual grown-up conversations about what marriage might actually mean.  She hadn’t met John then and, at the time, when ever I discussed how I had found “the one” her response would usually involve the phrase “pass me a bucket” whilst she pulled a very un-bride like face and pretended to gag.

Then she met John, Things changed,  very quickly.  Now I get to laugh at her soppiness and cheesey wedding suggestions. One of these suggestions even managed to make it to the actual wedding! “I” on the left foot “Do” on the right, in blue rhinestones.  Not only had she mutilated actual shoes she did it to spell actual words of LOVE.  A very similar concept to the flip flops a friend bought which printed the words “Just Married” as she and her new husband strolled along the beach.  At the time, unsurprisingly, she laughed at that. Thought it was hilarious! See… things change when you have the right person… If you asked her now, i’m absolutely sure that she would  “move heaven and earth to be together for ever with you”, John. Even whilst wearing those flip flops! ;P

Now to you Johnny boy….  since dating you my lovely, Hannah has found much more than the dream man to be “together forever {with} and never to part”. She’s found someone with whom she can build and share new dreams. You’ve already helped each other to achieve so much and I know that your support and love means a lot to Hannah.  It’s this love and support that shows how much you really were meant for each other and.. I hope she won’t request another bucket if I say… you clearly are made for each other.  You must be “the one”!

I’m so happy for you both   I hope you’re having lots of fun in Italy – 5 weeks until I see you both again! I will look forward to dinner with Mr and Mrs Ruthven of Crouch End

Mr and Mrs Ruthven - El Far, Tamariu

So, our travels are over.  We’ve hopped to Europe and back in a week and enjoyed catching up with family and friends.  This was a our first time out of Australia since we arrived here 18 months ago. So, it was really our first opportunity to see how we felt leaving it.  I know we didn’t go all the way to the UK this time (that will happen in August though) but we did have the opportunity to see our friends and family as well as see how we felt about coming back… and leaving them.

It’s a very strange feeling.  First of all, Matt told me that he felt strangly sad leaving Adelaide in the first place.  He had to remind himself that this wasn’t a repeat trip of our “ping pong” back to the UK in ’07, that we were coming back.  I, on the other hand, was so busy thinking about the stuff I needed to get done when I got back that I wasn’t under any illusion that we wouldn’t be returning!

Spain did feel different this time though.  Obviously, having grown up in the UK, Spain was a regular holiday destination.  It always felt strange and different.  It’s dusty, dry, has terracotta roofed houses, beaches with cafes and a different atmosphere to the U.K.  Weirdly, when you go there from another, dusty, dry place with beaches and terracotta roofed houses it feels strangely familiar.  Even the plants were like the ones we have here in Adelaide.  The feeling of familiarity with the place I now call home.. from a location on the other side of the world was not something I was expecting.  It was nice though.  It also meant that leaving Spain, our holiday destination, didn’t seem as much of a wrench as it did when we were living in the UK.  I’ve left the Spanish beaches and cafes for the one’s down the road.

It’s a nice feeling knowing that you want to come back.  It’s even nicer knowing that the life you have now chosen to lead everyday is a little like the one that your friends and family back home see as a holiday.  I’m not being unrealistic, obviously I have to go to work in between but at the end of the day, the beach is at the end of the road, the sun is usually shinning and I can relax here

Of course, hanging out with your friends for the first time in 18 months is wonderful.  To be honest, I was worried about where I might fit in after all that time.. it appears I fit exactly where I used to! (yay!) which is a relief!  I did have a secret cry on the beach during the wedding because I knew that now that lovely day was over, I had to be on my way… away from my best mate again.  I soon slapped myself out of that though.  I’ll see her in 5 weeks!

Let’s see how I cope with it after August!

Here’s some more piccies of the event!