The one thing that worries any traveler to Australia who is journeying from the safe and docile landscape and wildlife of Blighty is the renowned array of weird, wonderful and deadly beasts that Australia’s shores and seas harbour. We are all familiar, I am sure, with LOFs feelings on sharks for example.

I have been relieved to have been able to say that I have not encountered any deadly creatures on my travels. I have been reassured that its just really bad luck if you encounter one of these wee beasties and that most people never encounter them.

Everywhere we have travelled I have feared them. In Perth I wouldn’t sit on the lawn without a thorough inspection of the crawlies in the blades of grass and a clear awareness of the localities of the hospital. As the weeks have flown by however, I relaxed and could now sit on any lawn/wall without too much worry.

Inn Australia’s fair land the postbox – which services your mail, is located away from the house, at the end of your drive. (Donnie Darko style- no dynamite though PHEW)

I am currently awaiting bit sof paper from Queensland which say I can teach so, everyday I have been checking the post box. Yesterday the box was empty of post but contained a spider. (A little one, don’t worry – not a huge huntsmen) dangling in a web. Something about it though gave me the creeps. I reported my findings to LOF and ecpressed my concern that said crawley could make a home in my post and scare us further. I told myself I was over reacting -Again – and carried on.

This morning, being the brave, lion hearted woman that I am I sent LOF out to collect the post. He, being a fearless warrior, pulled out the peg to open the box and then gently prodded each piece of post to check for this spider who had made me uneasy and who I was sure was trying to be carried into the house on some junk mail.

— A piece of paper asking if we wanted to sell the house we don’t own… Fine, clear, good
— A letter to the people who used to live here – clear – spider free… phew.
— letter from gas and electricity company firm to LOF. oh dear.

There it was sat pon the back of the envelope as if not at all contemplating biting me and making me suffer. A F+_(^*$ ing Red BACK GULP. I kid you not. I knew there was something shifty about it. LOFs response..
“FUcking hell it’s a red back1” I”m in survival mode, going pale.. If I stamp on it in flipflops will it be able to bite me? Would that be unfair? Shoudl I kill a creature just because I’m afraid of it? Do we need to phone someone to report it? I don’t know!!!
meanwhile, whilst I’m very white now… Lof’s face has lit up. He turns to me and screams “Cool! Awesome! get the camera!”

In a daze I do so thinking “yep good idea then we can identify it and make sure it is, indeed, the deadly creature that we think it is.

LOF has been looking for deadly creatures for weeks. I mean literally looking for snakes, spiders etc. I think he has secretly been a little bit disapointed till now. The only thing that he didn’t want to see, of course, being a shark smiling at him from in front of his surf board.

He took his pictures – asking the spider to pose nicely – which it did. It seemd completly unaware of the threat it was posing us!
The LOF have the envelope a sharp tap – it fell off and scuttled away – to WHO KNOWS WHERE!!

I still am unsure whether there’s a red back hotline… I very much doubt it but I tell you I am very unimpressed and LOF is checking the post from now on. God knows what else is living in there!

1 Comment

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  1. Mummy Cow 12 years ago

    We’re going to see Charlotte’s Web tonight – not all spiders are bad…
    MC x


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