Skip this one for sanity’s sake.

Must reccomend the amazingly large portions of chocolate cake at Mugg and Bean in Town. (Birmingham town). MY GOD! The slice was so big that it satisfied the chocolate hunger pangs of three women! That’s truly amazing.

I would also like to state that anyone who steals a saddle from a bike is clearly rather strange. They should apologise to Daz, return the aforementioned item and then kiss the ground he walks on! Don’t they realise that is his only form of transport? Sad Brummie tea leaves!

Had a lovely luncheon today with pals from work. Met up on the spur of the moment after waking up to the illusive sounds of the pneumatic drills outside my house. Transco are searching for piping.

I should also take this opportunity to apologise to Lord of the Flame for my rather odd behaviour recently. I am feeling rather fragile at the moment. Haven’t a clue why, me thinks it’s work related and am finding it hard to be my normal cheery self. Keep hearing the harsh and evil words of someone who should know better going around and around in my head. I should choose not to listen, but something inside me instead chooses to analyse everything I do on the off chance that he is actually, somehow, secretly 100% correct . Pathethic and a form of self fulfilling prophesy. I was ok with it all; now I’m not. I don’t know why but that’s what’s happened and no end of discussion, reassurance or kindness from my friends seems to help. Stupid me. Trapped again… Just after I found inner calm and peacefulness.

Colette would kill me for writing all of this negative stuff down. I’m supposed to write “I am a good person” and then list all of my positive attributes. I know what they are but I fear it is those positive attributes that have got me to where I am. I seem to think that the rest of the world thinks like me. Unfortunately they do not. That’s a hard lesson.

If it wasn’t for the miracle of my students I would have cracked a long time ago. I don’t have them to keep me smiling at the moment… Maybe that’s the problem? I don’t have their happy and enthusiastic faces to counteract all the crap that keeps repeating in my head. Voldemort is winning at the moment… I must fight on… I can not believe, nor will I allow myself to submit to his stupidity. That man can not be helped.

I don’t want to walk away, those smiling, encouraging faces will be lost…. I’ll end up doubting for ever… Unfortunately, unless things change that’s exactly what I’ll have to do and I won’t be waiting until I go to OZ.

2 Comments

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  1. SpanAir 13 years ago

    I love you

    xxx

  2. Anonymous 13 years ago

    Don’t let TRANSCO get to you (or anyone else for that matter. Everything is going to be fine; maybe not all at once but quite soon. Keep eating the chocolate. A.

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